A conversation based in neuroticism: Grandma 50

The wife and I were having a conversation that led to this question:

Wife: Well what would you do if I cheated on you?

Me: I don’t know what I’d do.

Wife: You wouldn’t feel sad? I know you wouldn’t want to date.

Me: Oh Hell yes I would! I’d go out and find the hottest woman there was! The only problem is that I would have to make sure she knew I didn’t want anything serious. Just a fun time only. There’s nothing wrong with that as long as everyone is on the same page. Then of course I’d want pictures of her to send to you. She’d have to be HOT though. Not nude pictures. I’m too old to be asking for nude pictures. I prefer real life nude.

Wife: You’d turn into a whore?! That’s what you want… you want to be a whore!

Me: Yes, yes I would, and no, I don’t want to be a whore, but I’d have to occupy my mind somehow, if you were to cheat.

When you reach a certain age, you understand the problem with rebounds. You may work hard to make sure the hottest woman knows you’re only out for some fun, but sometimes that doesn’t always matter. Women get attached. I don’t know why… some women are from Venus, and others are from Uranus. Sometimes I can be from both. If the wife cheated on me during this midlife crisis, I’d have a lot to prove. I’ve already warned her that she better not make me single when I get into my 50’s, or worse, when I become grandmother! I mean, who dates grandmothers? Who wants to start the single life over at grandma 50? Gah!

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40 something woman in the midst of a midlife crisis, living daily life with a smile on my face, love in my heart, and completely dripping sarcasm like melting cheese from a cheese-burger.

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