Today has been a day of contradictory feelings.
When you so seriously take the idea of time never being captured once it gets away from you, it makes it hard to make decisions on how you will spend your day.
My choices were as follows:
- Stay in bed all day… OR get out and do something. Maybe a drive to find wildflowers, maybe a movie in the “big city.”
- Go on a major organizing spree and get rid of every single thing minus a few necessities… OR go shopping for things that make me happy. Paint, clothes, puppies, kittens, whatever.
- Eat an avocado and egg lunch… OR have a donut ice cream sandwich.
I could go on. This is what I do.
Then I end up doing nothing.
Realistically, I can’t spend my day in bed, even when I feel like I should. Someone has to get up. That’s me. Too much inactivity isn’t healthy anyway, but with my particular issues, a few days in bed, with my ocean wave sounds, and my eyes closed, so that I can pretend I’m elsewhere, would probably be wonderful, but it’d also be way harder to return to the real world. You know, the one where I have to actually talk to people.
Since I had to get out of bed, I decided to run some much needed errands because I was feeling very claustrophobic due to the seemingly unorganized nature of every single thing around me. This is where my choice between shopping or getting rid of everything, came in. Since getting rid of everything isn’t realistic, I opted for shopping. Not a very fulfilling activity on a sunshiny day, and I wish I could shop without spending money. Ha!
While I was out, I stopped at our only organic grocery store in town, while wishing we had some fun donut places here… you know the kind that make yummy cake donuts, and put homemade ice-cream in the middle. Being lactose intolerant doesn’t really matter if there’s a place close to home in which to torture myself! I suppose it’s a blessing that we have nothing like that around here. Sure, I’ll keep telling myself that.
My final stop was the grocery store. I found vegetables, fruits, and well… you know how it goes. The contradictions continue.