In this post: Following your passions/dreams, business ownership/responsibilities, financial stresses, mental/emotional health, parenting responsibilities of grown children, and a few ways I’m handling my current stresses. Plus a little fun thrown in. This is why I have created a new blog category, Neuroticism. It’s real people. Just read through these posts and you’ll see. You’ll see yourself in many of them too, I’m sure. I try to keep things real while also attempting some humor. If we can’t laugh at ourselves then we’re screwed.
I read an article a few months ago titled “Terms Successful People Never Use.” Well, “It is what it is,” was one of those terms. I’ve worked hard on never using this term since the reading of that article. Basically it means you’re accepting something that is difficult, and stressful, rather than putting forth the effort to change it. You’re being apathetic. If it’s one thing I’m not, it’s apathetic. So, I’ve cut this term from my vocabulary.
If you’ve read any of my previous posts, you’ll know that I am currently in crisis mode. My emotional health is really taking a hit. One child (daughter) is getting married. When there’s an impending marriage, it matters whether or not it’s a daughter or a son. Financially, it matters a LOT. When it comes to planning, it matters a LOT, even if you have a chapel planned wedding. So this has thrown me into a bit of a tizzy. “Tizzy” means, I’m freaking out.
Then I’ve got a son going off to college. Gender doesn’t really matter in this instance. It’s going to cost me regardless. My son has announced that he must tour the three universities he’s choosing between, because of course, he is choosing between some he has yet to tour… and he needs to tour them before May 1st. Of course. Why would I think this would be a simple process?
So I’ve got a wedding, and some college tours in the next three weeks, and lets not forget the stress I have with my business. This business that is not making it, and is stressing me beyond what I feel I should be stressed. I will have to take time off and that’s not exactly sitting well with me, at this moment. Also, my daughter works for me, meaning I’m going to be short 1 person (which is pretty stressful in our business), for a full week. Then I have employees who will need time off because they’re college students and they have to attend to their responsibilities, so that they too can lead a life of stress, but hopefully a worthwhile one, because they will make money in their chosen careers.
I struggle with my business stress. I love the kids I work with, so I go back and forth on how I should proceed. Do I close some portions of it and focus on one thing, the school and our upcoming new business idea (this would probably be the smartest thing to do)? Do I run away and focus on writing the next great novel (Hahahahahaha), because the “free spirit” in me screams “YES!” Life is too short, right? That’s what I’ve wanted since I was a kid, but owning a business, even one that isn’t succeeding, is better than working for someone else. That’s what I’d end up doing if I “ran away,” and tried to make a living writing. I have no prior experience, my punctuation is horrible, and every freaking person wants to be a writer. That doesn’t mean I’m giving up, it just means, if I want it, I’ve got to work harder on it in my “spare” time. I’ve got responsibilities that involve others. I’m not using my responsibilities as an excuse not to change my life, but I have to be realistic. Right?
So today I was feeling very weepy about it all, but I did start writing again last night. I’m actually happy with what I’ve got so far. It’s a story that has been in my head for a long while, but it’s also one that began with a dream I had the other night. So we shall see. I’ll keep going with it. What have I got to lose, anyway?
As far as how I’m dealing with my stress:
- I bought some progesterone drops, today. These are very interesting, and I’ll let you know how it goes. I was told that they are nothing like the pharmaceutical hormones. I hope not, because my doctor told me that with my history of blood clots (unusual because I’m active, young for the most part, and not overweight), hormones would never be prescribed for me. These are the type you rub on your arms and chest, a few minutes before each meal. I’m game. I stopped taking the prescribed med, Lexapro, because it really wound me up. I was like the energizer bunny, in a bad way.
- Painting. I love painting, even though I don’t have the talent to create a masterpiece. Actually my paintings look like a 5 year old did most of them. It’s okay. It’s all about the stress relief.
- Photography. I’m pretty good at this. I love taking pictures. People will say, “Put the camera down, and just enjoy what’s in front of you.” My camera IS my way of enjoying what’s in front of me. I don’t stop people, and make them pose, unless I am taking those types of pictures. I prefer my pictures of nature have no human beings in them whatsoever.
- Eating healthy. Lately this has been a struggle. I usually do eat healthy, but my cravings for salt and sugar are high right now. The problem is, it’s a vicious cycle. What put in your body does have an effect on your overall ability to deal with stress and anxiety. The worse the food, the worse your ability to handle yourself smoothly. I try to keep this in mind when shoving things like cake and chocolate eggs into my mouth.
- Watching old episodes of Psych on Netflix. . I love this show, because I AM him. I am the “Why not??” “Let’s just try it,” person in our business, and at home.
All done for the night. I have to go take care of many chores before work tomorrow! Enjoy the following pictures!